Feeling disconnected lately?
Are you struggling to define how you’re feeling during this season?
You’re not alone - and it’s not just you. Many of us, especially those who are neurodivergent or navigating high-sensory environments, find ourselves overwhelmed, misunderstood, or emotionally exhausted.
In this post, we are going to explore:
How to put language to your emotions
Ways to improve communication (with yourself and others)
Strategies to hold space for emotions as they arise
The Coffee Hut that Changed Me
Being a barista was both the job I loved…and hated. Our “sugar hut” was basically an oversized, unglamorous walk-in closet painted blue and white, squatting next to a gas station bathroom. I called it home for a season, balancing college classes and caffeine-fueled shifts with the familiar chaos of trying to make it through he day.
Every few months, we held performance reviews - right in the middle of the hut. No privacy, just overturned milk crates and uncomfortable eye contact. Most reviews were shallow, uninspired. But mine?
Well, mine stung.
I was praised for task efficiency and customer service. But then came the gut punch: “The entire team feels like you’re hard to get to know.”
It felt like someone dropped a gallon of milk on the floor and the mess was me. I flushed hot, ears burning, tears quietly escaping down my face. At 18, I didn’t have the language to advocate for myself or explain why small talk made my skin crawl, or why emotional vulnerability felt like a performance I hadn’t auditioned for.
I didn’t know, back then, that my brain processed things differently. That the way I masked in social settings or recoiled under perceived judgement wasn’t a flaw- it was a clue.
Why Communication Isn’t Just About Talking
Communication seems simple: message received, message sent. But the reality is messier. Our biases, traumas, neurotypical, and emotional noise shape what we hear and how we respond.
Especially for those of who are neurodivergent, “normal” communication strategies often feel inaccessible. There’s an added layer of decoding expectations while suppressing our true reactions. And when our emotions get too loud to contain, clarity disappears.
But here’s the truth:
You can learn to communicate in a way that honors who you are - without self-betrayal or burnout.
Step 1: Make Room for Your Emotions
Before you can communicate externally, you need to understand what’s going on internally. Here’s how to get started:
Create a Kind Processing Space
You don’t always need to confront your emotions in a therapist’s office or during an awkward lunch with your boss. Find a safe space- psychically and emotionally. That might be a coffee shop with lo-fi music, your car with a notebook, or a quiet room with dim lighting.
Grab a journal or open your Notes app. Let the thoughts come. You’re not writing a novel, you’re observing.
Define Your Limits and Set Boundaries
Some topics, people, or places might not feel safe right now - and that’s valid. You don’t necessarily need to push through triggering situations to grow. Instead, focus on what feels manageable. Start by asking yourself:
“How am I, really?”
Then follow where your question leads. Let curiosity (not judgement) be your guide.
Name What You’re Feeling
This was the hardest step for me, and the most powerful.
Finding the words for your feelings builds emotional intelligence, self trust, and resilience. You’re not “too sensitive”. You’re paying attention.
Try using tools like:
Emotion wheels
Sensory check-ins
Scripts or sentence stems (like “I’m feeling ___ because ___”)
Step 2: Give Yourself Grace
Let’s be real: Life is noisy. And when your brain doesn’t have capacity to do extra processing, you’re dodging additional chaos on the daily.
But stuffing your emotions down or bypassing joy just to stay functional? That’s not sustainable.
Practice noticing the good stuff, too:
Did you complete a challenging task? Celebrate. (Celebrate everything.)
Are you feeling lonely? Sit with it, don’t smother it.
Are you genuinely excited but afraid to seem “too much”? Feel the joy anyways.
Self-awareness is a form of self-respect.
You Deserve Communication that Includes You
This isn’t just about emotional regulation - it’s about building a life that works with your brain, not against it. Whether you’re managing a team, leading a project, or just trying to survive another group Zoom call, you deserve tools that actually serve you.
If you’re curious about how neuro-inclusive design can shift the way your workplace, event, or organization functions - let’s talk.
Learn how to create environments that feel better, function smarter, and include more people. 👇